I am done with school for the summer.
Finally.
I am in the mood for change.
A piercing? A tattoo? New hair?
I dont even know.
It's summer. I now have 3 months to do...basically whatever I want.
I feel like I should work on myself.
It's about time I focus on myself.
I just feel lost.
Lame but seriously, who am I? I dont even know.
I dont even know what I like anymore.
Just blah. That is my mood.
Any suggestions for how to kick this funk?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Failure.
Yes, yes I failed January the minute I got back to school. Grrrrr....
This month will be better time management.
This month will be better time management.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Oh no!
So when this is published it will be 2 days from when I blogged last. I know that goes against my resolution for January, but I think it still counts since I havent slept yet. :)
I go back tomorrow. I'm excited, yet scared kind of. I miss my friends and the independence. I thrived at college. I'm just scared that the anxiety will get in the way of my classes. What if I get an episode and have to walk out during class? Ugggghhhh.
On a good note, I havent had one in about a week. So yay for me! *clapclap*
I saw the Green Hornet today. My parents didnt like it much, but I think that was just because of the swearing. I thought it was dec. Not at the top of my list but I wouldnt turn anyone down from seeing it. I actually like Seth Rogan for the most part. He just has this I-dont-give-a-shit attitude that I think is funny. Maybe thats weird.
Another weird thing? I find Daniel Tosh's assholeness quite appealing ;)
I go back tomorrow. I'm excited, yet scared kind of. I miss my friends and the independence. I thrived at college. I'm just scared that the anxiety will get in the way of my classes. What if I get an episode and have to walk out during class? Ugggghhhh.
On a good note, I havent had one in about a week. So yay for me! *clapclap*
I saw the Green Hornet today. My parents didnt like it much, but I think that was just because of the swearing. I thought it was dec. Not at the top of my list but I wouldnt turn anyone down from seeing it. I actually like Seth Rogan for the most part. He just has this I-dont-give-a-shit attitude that I think is funny. Maybe thats weird.
Another weird thing? I find Daniel Tosh's assholeness quite appealing ;)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Do I have to go back?
Dont get me wrong, I love college.
It's just that...I love being home too. I'm one of those people who thinks a good night is sitting at home with my mom watching any form of CSI. Thats one thing I miss while I'm at college.
But I do miss my friends. Especially my roomie. It's weird going from seeing people pretty much constantly, to not seeing them for a month. It's lonely I guess.
I'm not at all excited for the work load. I never had homework during high school, and when I did, I complained about it. Now, I am constantly doing some work for a class. That could be because I force myself to do every reading assigned to me. Poooooooooop.
And another good thing about going back, Glee! Glee will be back a little after the new semester starts. I miss the Glee parties we had on our floor. It's going to be great to have it back.
I'm sorry this blog is so boring, but I've kept up with my goal! Half way done! Woot!
I go back on Monday :(
It's just that...I love being home too. I'm one of those people who thinks a good night is sitting at home with my mom watching any form of CSI. Thats one thing I miss while I'm at college.
But I do miss my friends. Especially my roomie. It's weird going from seeing people pretty much constantly, to not seeing them for a month. It's lonely I guess.
I'm not at all excited for the work load. I never had homework during high school, and when I did, I complained about it. Now, I am constantly doing some work for a class. That could be because I force myself to do every reading assigned to me. Poooooooooop.
And another good thing about going back, Glee! Glee will be back a little after the new semester starts. I miss the Glee parties we had on our floor. It's going to be great to have it back.
I'm sorry this blog is so boring, but I've kept up with my goal! Half way done! Woot!
I go back on Monday :(
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Doctors
Whenever I have some sort of health problem and end up at the doctors I feel stupid. I feel so bad and sick but the way they look at me makes me feel stupid for thinking that it mattered.
So I ended up at the doctors on Tuesday. I guess you could say I had it coming because my mom had plans to make me go for my anxiety but then on Monday night I had the worst cramps. They kept me up until 6 AM, and I only slept then because I basically passed out.
I went and he just made me feel stupid for going for cramps. He basically told me to take aleve, like no shit. I'm a girl, I know. I wouldnt be there if they werent getting in the way of living. But on a good note, he prescriped me something for the anxiety. He said that for a lot of people just having the medicine makes them feel better. Thats what I'm hoping for.
:)
I love Criminal Minds. Actually, I basically love any show like it. All CSI's, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Without a Trace.
Random ^
So while I was sleep deprived I came up with a great book idea. I'm just kind of scared to take on something as large as writing a book. It's always been a dream of mine, a way to make a mark. Maybe a way to show people how great books can be. I just dont know where or how to start. Do you just start from scratch? Make an outline? I have no clue.
So I ended up at the doctors on Tuesday. I guess you could say I had it coming because my mom had plans to make me go for my anxiety but then on Monday night I had the worst cramps. They kept me up until 6 AM, and I only slept then because I basically passed out.
I went and he just made me feel stupid for going for cramps. He basically told me to take aleve, like no shit. I'm a girl, I know. I wouldnt be there if they werent getting in the way of living. But on a good note, he prescriped me something for the anxiety. He said that for a lot of people just having the medicine makes them feel better. Thats what I'm hoping for.
:)
I love Criminal Minds. Actually, I basically love any show like it. All CSI's, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Without a Trace.
Random ^
So while I was sleep deprived I came up with a great book idea. I'm just kind of scared to take on something as large as writing a book. It's always been a dream of mine, a way to make a mark. Maybe a way to show people how great books can be. I just dont know where or how to start. Do you just start from scratch? Make an outline? I have no clue.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Minnetonkas :)
Today was...half and half.
It started out great actually. My mom took the day off so that we could hang out before I go back to school. We filled out the application so I could rent a house next year, which was luckily approved. Hope we get it!
Then we went to DSW to look for winter boots, but left with something much different. I finally got my first pair of Minnetonka moccasins! They were only 25 dollars and fit perfectly. I'm so excited to wear these but will have to wait until the snow stops. They're perfect for a dressy outfit, but also for something just for comfort.
And for dinner we went to PF Changs, which is one of my favorite restaurants. They have this good deal where it's 2 people for 40 dollars. This is what I got:
Hot and Sour soup
Chang's Chicken Lettuce Rolls
Sweet and Sour Chicken
Raspberry Cheesecake Shooter
Yuuuuuuuuuuuum :)
Buuuuuut, the bad had to come of course. I was so excited because my old orchestra was having a concert that fell over my break. I promised one of my friends that I'd go see her play. I was fine through the 7th and 8th grade orchestras but once high school on stage my anxiety started. This time is got so bad that I thought I was going to throw up. I was luckilly able to see a few people before I had to go home. Dont you just love when people seem genuinely happy to see you? Its a good boost.
On a side note, I think my car hated high school. Everytime theres a possibility it might go to the high school, it decides not to start. I just dont get it ha ha.
It started out great actually. My mom took the day off so that we could hang out before I go back to school. We filled out the application so I could rent a house next year, which was luckily approved. Hope we get it!
Then we went to DSW to look for winter boots, but left with something much different. I finally got my first pair of Minnetonka moccasins! They were only 25 dollars and fit perfectly. I'm so excited to wear these but will have to wait until the snow stops. They're perfect for a dressy outfit, but also for something just for comfort.
And for dinner we went to PF Changs, which is one of my favorite restaurants. They have this good deal where it's 2 people for 40 dollars. This is what I got:
Hot and Sour soup
Chang's Chicken Lettuce Rolls
Sweet and Sour Chicken
Raspberry Cheesecake Shooter
Yuuuuuuuuuuuum :)
Buuuuuut, the bad had to come of course. I was so excited because my old orchestra was having a concert that fell over my break. I promised one of my friends that I'd go see her play. I was fine through the 7th and 8th grade orchestras but once high school on stage my anxiety started. This time is got so bad that I thought I was going to throw up. I was luckilly able to see a few people before I had to go home. Dont you just love when people seem genuinely happy to see you? Its a good boost.
On a side note, I think my car hated high school. Everytime theres a possibility it might go to the high school, it decides not to start. I just dont get it ha ha.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Major Anxiety Issues
So...I dont know what wrong with me.
Basically everytime I go out I end up having a major anxiety episode. It feels like I have to give a speech x10. It usually only lasts about an hour but yesterday it lasted at least 2. I'm really starting to get scared.
I'm supposed to go visit some friends in the city but I'm kind of scared that its going to cause another episode...I dont know. Maybe me thinking that it will, will cause it.
The problem with these episodes is I dont know what causes them. They just come and go as they please. I just feel really anxious about things but I have no clue why. I guess I can just hope for the best with this all.
I'm not even sure if I'm going tonight, but if I do then I have to do my blog post for today before I leave. :) It makes me happy that I'm keeping up with my January goal. What I'd like to do is not write such pointless blogs about my boring life. We'll work on that.
Oh! About last night, I had dinner with my college girls. We went to this delicious Italian restaurant and I had a half order of pasta and a piece of cheesecake. It was soooooo good. Afterwards we decided to see Black Swan. My anxiety kicked in before the movie and lasted the whole time so my mind is a little blurry about the movie. But I can tell you, its pretty damn weird. Good, but so extremely weird. I really liked the thought behind it. I dont want to say too much about it since you might have not seen it. One things I do have to say is Natalie Portman probably shouldnt let her child EVER see that movie. No child wants to see their mother in an awkward lesbian sex scene. Or touching herself.
Basically everytime I go out I end up having a major anxiety episode. It feels like I have to give a speech x10. It usually only lasts about an hour but yesterday it lasted at least 2. I'm really starting to get scared.
I'm supposed to go visit some friends in the city but I'm kind of scared that its going to cause another episode...I dont know. Maybe me thinking that it will, will cause it.
The problem with these episodes is I dont know what causes them. They just come and go as they please. I just feel really anxious about things but I have no clue why. I guess I can just hope for the best with this all.
I'm not even sure if I'm going tonight, but if I do then I have to do my blog post for today before I leave. :) It makes me happy that I'm keeping up with my January goal. What I'd like to do is not write such pointless blogs about my boring life. We'll work on that.
Oh! About last night, I had dinner with my college girls. We went to this delicious Italian restaurant and I had a half order of pasta and a piece of cheesecake. It was soooooo good. Afterwards we decided to see Black Swan. My anxiety kicked in before the movie and lasted the whole time so my mind is a little blurry about the movie. But I can tell you, its pretty damn weird. Good, but so extremely weird. I really liked the thought behind it. I dont want to say too much about it since you might have not seen it. One things I do have to say is Natalie Portman probably shouldnt let her child EVER see that movie. No child wants to see their mother in an awkward lesbian sex scene. Or touching herself.
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